The power of being seen: Mellicia Marx

This essay was written as part of “Wear Yourself In,” a campaign by all natural skin care and beauty company Kari Gran. The campaign encourages women to be kind to themselves, and their skin, as they reflect on beauty, aging, wisdom and self-acceptance.

Mellicia Marx is the founder of Poplin Style Direction, a personal styling company for women. Coming from a career in philanthropy, Mellicia, who currently lives in Seattle, has always strived to make a noticeable difference in the world, and this is clear through in her efforts to provide clients with a renewed sense of self that reflects who they are in a way that makes them shine. (photo courtesy of Microsoft Office – @office)

***********************************

My childhood could easily have been the inspiration for a Lifetime movie.

From ages three to sixteen, I lived with my mother and her boyfriend. He was terrifying. He spoke lies as if they were the truth. He singled you out and humiliated you. He became abusive to everyone but my mother, and seemed to exert ultimate control. No one could, or would, stand up against him and win.

Fortunately, the abuse ended when I hit junior high. Even so, I found myself especially fixated on finding ways to avoid his gaze. Clothes, it turned out, were the answer. Nothing was revealing. Most choices were shapeless.

While I worked tirelessly to avoid sexual attention at home, I wanted, like any teenager, to be noticed at school and out in the world. Living with two textbook narcissists fueled my need to be seen more than ever. I joined Student Government and any club I could find to have “legitimate” time away from home.

Ultimately, I discovered my voice in my style. I became known for my vintage pieces, my knee-high socks and my brightly-colored tights. I dyed my hair. I wanted to fight and be seen and this became my way to do it.

When I entered adulthood I figured the way to make my mark was through nonprofit work. Despite my best efforts, I never actually felt like I was helping anyone and often found myself frustrated and unfulfilled. I needed something more. Then, mid-career, I rediscovered the voice I had silently continued to nurture all along — the voice that just so happened to be loudest when I was wearing an outfit that I loved. Clothes, once again, were the answer — a pathway to my authentic voice and the story I wanted to tell the world.

And now that’s what I do for others.

As a personal stylist, my job is to help women be seen. It’s not about teaching them how to succumb to the expectations of the patriarchy. On the contrary, it’s about being in control of how people see you. It’s about saying something without talking, and having the confidence and courage to bravely do what you want, when you want. It’s a lesson I work to share with my clients, and something I continue to learn again and again.

There’s power in being seen. In our authentic voices being heard. And that’s something we all need a little more of. Especially as women. Especially these days.

***********************************

Connect with Mellicia and check out her styling tips and tricks on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

52 Comments

  1. Hello Melliccia,
    How does one become a personal stylist?
    I am interested perhaps for my daughter she has been in the high end clothing company line for 5 years now.. I would love to do it but being on disability I’m afraid..I can’t afford to make myself look presentable. Sincerely, Anabel

  2. Hello i am kavin, its my first occasion to commenting anyplace, when i read this article i thought i could also create comment due to this good piece of writing.

  3. I loved as much as you will receive carried out right here.
    The sketch is attractive, your authored material stylish.

    nonetheless, you command get got an impatience over that
    you wish be delivering the following. unwell unquestionably come more formerly again as exactly
    the same nearly a lot often inside case you shield this increase.

  4. As one who’s large on ‘brick bats and bouquets’ can I just say that each
    one bar the holiday cottage individuals insisted that now we have refunds or not pay in the circumstances.

  5. Description: This gentrified previous fruit and vegetable
    market is now a cultured European-fashion sq. with designer retailers and stalls surrounded by fashionable bars, cafes and eating places.
    It’s now more fashionable with tourists reasonably than locals.

  6. Why do people gauge earlobes right this moment, and what benefits do they imagine they get by doing so?

  7. Use an egg to antique your sterling silver
    jewellery. Just boil the egg, chop it up, and put it in a bag together with your silver piece.

  8. I’ve been making ‘something’ since I was 5, but you do not need to hear
    about all that!

  9. Slightly amusingly, this was returned to me this week for reconstruction as somebody felt that the nail element
    was too sharp to be dealt with safely!

  10. I was very pleased to uncover this site. I need to to thank you for ones time for this particularly fantastic read!! I definitely appreciated every bit of it and i also have you book marked to check out new stuff in your blog.

  11. Hello! This post could not be written any better!
    Reading this post reminds me of my good old
    room mate! He always kept talking about this.
    I will forward this write-up to him. Pretty sure he will have a good read.

    Many thanks for sharing!

  12. After Kate graduated from St. Andrews College she took on a
    job as an accessories buyer for Junior Jigsaw.

  13. The ‘Halo’ Tiara was made by Cartier in 1936 and purchased
    by HRH The Duke of York (later King George VI) for his spouse HRH The
    Duchess of York (later Queen Elizabeth).

  14. You made some really good points there. I looked on the web for additional
    information about the issue and found most people will go along with your views on this website.

  15. Displaying 1 to 25 of fifty three Articles matching ‘vogue bracelets’ in related articles.

  16. Making your personal jewelry is easier than you suppose.

    You could find interest pendants at craft shops that may be positioned on chains you already personal or you possibly can simply purchase a
    cheap chain.

  17. Regarded by many in vogue as essentially the most unusual designer of stylish, modern and modern equipment;
    Babette Wasserman silk ties can be found in a number of the
    most prestigious shops the world over. Look
    out for her collection of properly presented present box sets providing pure silk
    ties together with a pair of luxurious cufflinks.

  18. The quality of handcrafted Aviv silver Jewellery adds to
    modern and cultural styling and it completely caters for the style-minded group of people.
    Multi combinations of Aviv silver Jewelry pieces can match and go
    effectively with any outfit, type and mood of the wearer.

  19. Jewelry played a serious function in the fate of the Americas when the Spanish
    established an empire to grab South American gold.

  20. Manner is not going to be restricted to only rich folks at present.
    Presently, people have noticed their different concerning designer impressed jewellery.
    There are many on the web retailers advertising Thomas Sabo Necklaces Sale jewellery options at incredibly acceptable expenditures
    (considerably below unique Thomas Sabo solutions). The standard and sturdiness of these solutions are usually
    not under originals.

  21. On this methodology the canes are heated to molten, wrapped around a metal rod after which labored by adding layers of various coloured glass in addition to gold or silver leaf to achieve different effects.

  22. It is believed that amber jewellery possesses exceptional well
    being benefits as it’s a product of a resin that has been fossilized for
    a lot of lots of of years.

  23. If you’re artistic in nature, love handiwork and might
    spare the time, you may always make you personal present.
    Such private objects will all the time effect a extra emotional response from
    the recipient who will recognize your time and effort.
    Persona handcrafted presents are great for really shut
    family members, particularly if it is an object that they are going to truly cherish.

  24. I was recommended this website by my cousin. I’m not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my difficulty. You’re incredible! Thanks!

  25. In 1725, Rondé delivered one other crown to the queen, similar in composition but smaller in size.

  26. These days a variety of such historically inspired objects
    equivalent to bone carved pendants primarily based on traditional fishhooks hei matau and different greenstone jewelry are
    in style with young New Zealanders of all backgrounds – for whom they relate to a generalized sense of New Zealand identity.
    These trends have contributed towards a worldwide curiosity in conventional Māori tradition and arts.

  27. Le Saché spent his youth in painter’s studios, desperate to grow to be an artist.

  28. Individuals like to wear gentle ornaments which then can easily carry in occasions.
    They don’t want any form of trouble in the course of the events.
    These jewelers are very comfortable and transportable and easier to hold ornaments
    provide them the perfect satisfaction.

  29. Actual gold doesn’t stick with a magnet, so if it
    does stick, then it is fake.

  30. Jewel Ace International is the Jaipur based mostly largest producer of Thewa & Sozo
    jewellery and mixing the Vintage Gold Jewellery with thewa to convey the glitter in the conventional Jewelry in pure
    gold and making a Vintage Gold Thewa Jewelry with
    enamel work to make the jewelry very particular for girls.

  31. Being a jewelry designer will can help you meet all freedoms that you’re wishing to have in your
    lifestyle because it will provide you with the instruments to satisfy your creative nature
    and your must grow into your desired lifestyle.

  32. A pearl is a tough object produced throughout the smooth tissue (specifically the mantle) of
    a dwelling shelled mollusk.

  33. Just remember to have a silver polishing cloth
    readily available in your silver jewellery. All silver tarnishes, so a polishing fabric will assist you rapidly and easily,
    have your silver jewelry looking like new with out having to cope with smelly, messy
    silver polish.

  34. That is really attention-grabbing, You are an excessively professional blogger.
    I’ve joined your rss feed and look forward to in quest of more of your fantastic post.
    Also, I’ve shared your website in my social networks

  35. I have been browsing online more than 4 hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours. It is pretty worth enough for me. Personally, if all website owners and bloggers made good content as you did, the web will be much more useful than ever before.

Leave A Reply

Wear Yourself In